The choices in one's language and its usages....

As a kid, I remember vowing to myself never ever to speak the language or rather the mode of communication my parents used, between themselves and among their local peers. That language, being quite a 'complicated' (to my young mind) mixture of the regional Malayalam and the neighboring Tamil. The end result being neither this nor that. It was a true mixture, and I was very much embarrassed at that age, about the way it was spoken among some of my close relatives. This embarrassment being brought on mainly from the awareness that I felt, from my exposure to my residential school days, bringing to me  the realization, that it was not really Malayalam that was being spoken at home, but a very queer, personal dialect. It sure was sweet in its own way, but to my young mind it then actually caused so much of confusion and frustration . This, I should say was mostly due to the fact that there was no way I could ever grasp that tone or tune, or the syntax, but  it is and always has been quite familiar to me, I ought to admit. This dialect was also very much an important part of my  home and childhood .The  irony of life is such, that you tend to end up in the same situation time and again, mostly the ones you usually try very hard to try to avoid,  I believe.

As of today, the present time what do I speak at home? Its no wonder that I have ended up with a mixture of Malayalam and Tamil at my home now. Though its not the same dialect, I have to admit. The other day I caught myself telling my kid to " Nallaa padichu, beautifulaa present cheyyanam mone".Translation being , prepare well and present well. To be exact, it has a sprinkle of English in it too,with the Malyalam and Tamil.  So, after all, how far have I moved away from my roots? Not very far obviously!

Truly, its just not a mixture of Malayalam, Tamil ,and English that does the rounds in our home. Got to admit, we (being us) as parents I believe, have been further confusing our kids, than our parents have ever been to us, from time to time . The fact being, we also have another language making its rounds around the house. My husband's native Telugu that is . I am sure, in a future date our kids might admit to a total confusion they had been subjected to by us. But again,  its a scientific fact that kids who are exposed to various languages have better grasping powers right?. Oh! how pathetic of me! How we often tend to grab at any little excuse for our general behavior right? What a sorry excuse, I am sure, but I do have the solace of it being scientifically proved beneficial .

The sad part is they don't speak, as such, any of these languages at all now, like they used to in their much younger days. At least, I can find some little joy in the fact that, they will have a wealth of vocabulary from various different languages and lots of grasping power hopefully, a general  comprehension of whats being said . I have noticed oftentimes, that we as parents cannot seem to have a real private conversation in any of these various languages, as all  of them are in some form familiar and comprehensible to them. This familiarity, hopefully, in their future might interest them to further learn to speak fluently in any one or more of these or maybe any new languages, like we did later in  life. This is another of my wish and hopes for them....