Totally unexpected and quite stunned...

So, here we were making plans about what classes to enroll the kids in as Summer came knocking and Soccer was not an option anymore. My little one had been attending a cheer leading class, for the previous weeks . As it was, we were not very happy about the way it went for her, so had been having these thoughts of enrolling her in some gym class or some form of dance classes.

The cheer leading classes got over, and it was time for the Regional Competition. We were not all that enthusiastic or hopeful about it as the little team was only just about reaching there.

The Competition turned out to be quite a big affair. Level 1 (Division 1) Competition was done first and there were around 14 teams for our team to compete against. Some of the performances were cute and some funny, like the "I am Elmo and I know it song". There  were both big and small teams and ours were one of the big ones as we had 8 members in it. So, with all the usual stress ,drama and tears, it was at last their turn. It went well , but having seen the Elmo performance and some other cute moves I was not very hopeful for my little one's team. In fact, many teams seemed to be quite good, as good and some more than our team, that is, to my untrained eyes, it appeared there might be other winners.

I wanted to return back home as the level 1 competition got over. But immediately after, they started the performance for bigger girls, girls out of middle school, I guess. We just couldn't leave yet, we needed to watch a few, we decided, as that particular routine turned out to be quite professional and skilled. As it was, that performance of the older girls, was by the all star team that was gonna represent the region in that level. So, unawares, now it was time for the results, and I wasn't very sure if I ought to be glad we had stayed back.

The 3rd place was announced and I had hopes it might be our team, but no luck there, next came the second place winner, it was the Elmo team. I knew we'd better leave as we had lost. My son at my side insisted  "My sister's team is gonna be first". I looked back at him strangely, and said," No way dear, I'd hoped for a third maybe, now I see no chance". "No mom! you just wait and see, it will be her team" he insisted.

The announcer immediately congratulated the winning team who would be representing the Region @ the State level @ Nashville. I was totally stunned, and so were the other parents in our group. My son's words did come true after all.

Now I knew I would never hear an end to his bragging . All the way back he boasted of his prophesying powers, while I wondered why, I was such a bad judge of the performance altogether. Well, its no wonder, I know nothing about cheer leading at all for that matter, all I am good at in that quarter is encouraging and watching and enjoying, I guess. But am I glad ! So is the family , for the little ones's first achievement in such a field. It totally threw us off, I got to say. In all the commotion and the excitement, we forgot to get a team picture after the event, not a smart move, I know.

So what of our plans of dropping out of cheer leading altogether? Now as you may have realized,we gotta travel that road some more, it looks like. Isn't it so very like Life, for decisions to be taken out of your hands and your control altogether? Well, that's the beauty of life I guess, the unexpectedness, and the uncertainty.

About a constant,steadfast and reliable friend...

There is this friend of mine of over a score years. A friend I acquired in my early graduation days. All those years back and some, this one particular friend of mine is been steadfast in her ways.

I remember making fun of her for being too sweet with anyone and everyone, even when she was not really treated civilly. In short, I found soon enough, it was very hard to provoke her. So hard was this that, at times, some other friends of hers and I, even have thought that maybe she was always putting on this act of sweetness .Only, quite recently we have come to the realization that probably she was more tactful, more mature and diplomatic than any of us.

This realization has been arrived on by us, mostly due to the fact that she still remains the same in the face of any adversity. We all have changed in many ways I got to note, which is of course how it ought to be.Our experiences shape us over the years.And so we have become either more or less patient and suffering with our lots or have ended up as shrews or saints. She still is the same old smiling girl of yore though. It just escapes me how she can hold her smile as of yore .I got to take back my taunts now, the ones that I used to shower on her for being all too sweet in the face of total meanness even. She used to appear almost like a female messiah, and she was/is beautiful too, with the same all-suffering look.

Maybe its this attitude of hers that has bred better consequences for her in life . Its been said, patience often breeds more patience, likewise, probably a smiling acceptance and understanding in her, must have bred all that is nice that has happened/happens /will happen in her life too. I got into this musing on her after a conversation with a mutual friend and thought it was worth a mention, this sweetness and patience and this good-heartedness of hers. Only it makes me feel like a shrew, as I always have this tendency to argue in the face of anything  before accepting it.

Blood sure is thicker than water after all, time and again...

The distancing that has occurred between us siblings as years have gone by is a matter that really bothers me from time to time. I remember, as a school-goer and a residential student, the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep as I sorely missed my several siblings and my dear family. Myriad are the times I couldn't help myself being anxious during each moment that I was away from home,about the safety of each and everyone of them. This anxiety was only heightened by the fact that I got to see them during the vacations that came in the school year. In short, my misery in being at the boarding was easily multiplied by my yearning thoughts of home. I was very attached to my five siblings and my parents. I had been plucked away at the very young age of three and planted in the residential surroundings in the school. The misery that other fellow boarders felt only increased my sadness and longing for home I remember.

Every night while we lay ourselves to sleep, we were in the habit of murmuring a prayer for our dear ones and ourselves which again made me pray extra fervently for everyone's safety. The childish fear that little kids usually have, which I now frequently observe in my little ones, this fear of separation from their parents and loved ones was just a bit more acutely felt by me in those days, I remember. And yet, this same 'acute feeler' has changed so much over the years that I find myself hardly on speaking terms at times with some of my beloved siblings. If the love was/is strong ,so was the anger and dislike at times stronger. Still, I think this type of alienation between the siblings happened  between us much later in our youthful years.

But deep down, in spite of the anger, frustration and total misunderstanding that has happened /is happening,  deep down, I strongly believe none of us siblings can ever really wish ill for any of the others .Deep down, there still is /will always remain that concern and love that has maybe been suppressed, but never totally extinguished. This suppression is due to the circumstances and happenings that have been mostly out of our control. We, after all are mere puppets playing to the Divine tune, I guess. There is no hate at all, only a sometimes deep dislike, a disapproval of one and everything now, a criticism of each other. In events and things that matter, Blood does hold well together, I have found to my utter relief. All the show of animosity is forgotten, blood is blood and it does feel in unison and reverts to its natural alliance in spite of all external influence to overthrow and displace it, the strength of the bond of blood.

I am very confident, from my past and recent experiences, they will all come through for me when I really need them , in spite of this distancing by ourselves and by various occurences that have happened in our various lives. This, I believe is not just my case, it is same for all, whether it be for my own siblings or generally.

The choices in one's language and its usages....

As a kid, I remember vowing to myself never ever to speak the language or rather the mode of communication my parents used, between themselves and among their local peers. That language, being quite a 'complicated' (to my young mind) mixture of the regional Malayalam and the neighboring Tamil. The end result being neither this nor that. It was a true mixture, and I was very much embarrassed at that age, about the way it was spoken among some of my close relatives. This embarrassment being brought on mainly from the awareness that I felt, from my exposure to my residential school days, bringing to me  the realization, that it was not really Malayalam that was being spoken at home, but a very queer, personal dialect. It sure was sweet in its own way, but to my young mind it then actually caused so much of confusion and frustration . This, I should say was mostly due to the fact that there was no way I could ever grasp that tone or tune, or the syntax, but  it is and always has been quite familiar to me, I ought to admit. This dialect was also very much an important part of my  home and childhood .The  irony of life is such, that you tend to end up in the same situation time and again, mostly the ones you usually try very hard to try to avoid,  I believe.

As of today, the present time what do I speak at home? Its no wonder that I have ended up with a mixture of Malayalam and Tamil at my home now. Though its not the same dialect, I have to admit. The other day I caught myself telling my kid to " Nallaa padichu, beautifulaa present cheyyanam mone".Translation being , prepare well and present well. To be exact, it has a sprinkle of English in it too,with the Malyalam and Tamil.  So, after all, how far have I moved away from my roots? Not very far obviously!

Truly, its just not a mixture of Malayalam, Tamil ,and English that does the rounds in our home. Got to admit, we (being us) as parents I believe, have been further confusing our kids, than our parents have ever been to us, from time to time . The fact being, we also have another language making its rounds around the house. My husband's native Telugu that is . I am sure, in a future date our kids might admit to a total confusion they had been subjected to by us. But again,  its a scientific fact that kids who are exposed to various languages have better grasping powers right?. Oh! how pathetic of me! How we often tend to grab at any little excuse for our general behavior right? What a sorry excuse, I am sure, but I do have the solace of it being scientifically proved beneficial .

The sad part is they don't speak, as such, any of these languages at all now, like they used to in their much younger days. At least, I can find some little joy in the fact that, they will have a wealth of vocabulary from various different languages and lots of grasping power hopefully, a general  comprehension of whats being said . I have noticed oftentimes, that we as parents cannot seem to have a real private conversation in any of these various languages, as all  of them are in some form familiar and comprehensible to them. This familiarity, hopefully, in their future might interest them to further learn to speak fluently in any one or more of these or maybe any new languages, like we did later in  life. This is another of my wish and hopes for them....