Of friends, less than friends and careless friends...

With the advent of networking , keeping up with one's friends have become so effortless. There is no excuse now available for anyone, who calls himself/herself a friend to find solace in excuses anymore I'd say. Still we tend to blame our lack of checking on our friends on the busy schedules we are on, be it at home, work or the schedule of our social life.

In spite of all this, don't you think you would take the trouble to at least find out how someone you really care about is doing, at least from time to time, not wait for them to catch up with you/ask after you?  What do you call this type of behavior,this waiting to be asked about, but not caring enough about the other person to find about the wellness of their friend at all ? Could he/ she be a real friend to the one who cares enough to check on him/her? Trying to touch base with one's friends will occur only if there is this real feeling of love/care .This touching of base with each other can be in the mode of a brief message, a call, a mail or even a chat message. Now that is the convenience we all have, at our fingertips in this present day and age. Despite these comforts, if you still cannot bother to say in a short message, whether it be mail or otherwise that you do care by asking about your friend, then what type of a so- called friend are you? No matter the distance, the lack of time and any and all other issues, you would be there, you would find or make time to get the message across that you do care about them . You would always be a solid support proving to your friends they can rely on you always and anytime.This support needn't be material, it must be moral and it ought to be ever present . Fiends mean so much more to a person than one's own family most of the time . When one starts caring less and less, one tends to push them back into the background. Oh, they are fine, they must be getting along ,would be your attitude once you start caring for them less and less. So that's what's happening to some of my friends who are becoming more 'distanced' I guess. Should I call them distanced friends, the one's who seemed to be so close to my heart , now slowly disappearing from my day to day life. The one's you still care for though are the one's who make you stop and analyse yourself/ your situation.Now that's the 'unkindest cut' of it all. If both parties care less, it ought to be alright, if not is when the hurt begins.You tend to dissect the whole thing, trying to find the whys and wherefores of the little things in that particular relationship.

Again to the topic on the true ones, friends that is, they will always be there for you, no matter what. You can always rely on their support and well wishes. They never judge you, they are the one's who have accepted you for all your faults and your graces. Nothing you say or do is gonna ever change their attitude towards you or yours towards them . Such friendships are enriched even further when all the related  feelings are mutual.So it is when the mutuality in a friendship diminishes that a real friend becomes a careless one. I believe its easier to understand and accept one's lot when an erstwhile friend becomes your less than a friend person or should I say a foe almost? Yes its much more easy to understand the workings of a foe's mind than a friend's, who has become a confusing one at that, like the one that has gone totally careless. You wouldn't know what to do with such a one.

Do you keep them or do you lose them? It becomes a Hamlet question. ( 'To be or not to be', here a friend) Should you or not? If you totally want to lose them , its not an easy matter at all let me say. The issue being, there is this remnant of mixed feelings, feelings of care which haven't at all diminished on one side at the least. This one-sided concern and affection and remnants of affection on the other side gets the relationship nowhere, its like a beached vessel going nowhere . You cannot abandon it, nor can you move it, in short you are stuck .You know there are ways and means to help it progress and get it to go on its path but its got to be a very concerted effort. So you see, you are indeed in a fix . This really is the type of friendship that bothers one and really makes one unhappy. It is not the less than friends or foes who make one restless or embittered I guess, its the careless ones, the ones who care no more, the ones who had once been so dear, who have faded away little by little but again the ones for who you still have care and you just cannot seem to get back to the way you were with them.

So in short, these careless ones cannot be called friends anymore, they are become more like acquaintances. Alas, they are no friend material now after all .